Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Going for a Ride

Have you ever heard the term “jump ship?”






Generally, if you jump ship, you leave a job or activity suddenly before it is finished, especially to go and do something for someone else. I think that this term has a lot to do with commitment. A person that is committed to what they are doing, will stay with the task till the bitter end. Someone that is committed will see and understand the difficulty they will face in their commitment and prepare for it.


Back in the days when I worked at Lakeside Shopping Center, there was a tunnel under the mall. The tunnel was used as a loading dock for all the deliveries to the stores. The tunnel was built poorly, so water from the parking lot would drain down into the tunnel. This water would almost never dry, and therefore contributed a nice thin layer of scum that was very slippery. (It also contributed a very strange odor, but that’s a different story)

We would often use this slippery surface for our enjoyment. Lakeside shopping center had a golf cart, for plowing sidewalks, doing trash rounds, and just getting around the massive 40 Acre piece of land. If you could get the golf cart up to top speed on the down ramp into the tunnel, by the time you hit the water / scum, with some careful braking and steering wheel maneuvers, the golf cart would do a perfect 360. While this could be potentially dangerous, I had done it enough times, that I was quite proficient.


One day, one of my friends came over to Lakeside, so I could help him work on his car. I was still on the job doing trash, and offered him a ride down into the tunnel… I saw the water… The temptation was too great. I was at top speed at the end of the ramp, and I told him to hang on! “We’re going to do a spin.” Before I knew what was happening, he jokingly said “no way” and promptly jumped off the speeding golf cart.


The next few seconds happened so quickly that I’m not quite sure what all happened. I am sure of one thing: a person can’t instantly start running 20 MPH. I stomped on the brake and looked back. A cloud of dust enveloped a still rolling human figure. When I arrived on the scene, blood was dripping from his scraped hands, as he said… “Well…. that was kinda stupid, wasn’t it?”


My friend wasn’t committed to our golf cart trip.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Stick With It!


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Stick With It!



Love em? Hate em?
Time to stop?
Hate mail is accepted at "Bill@microsoft.com"

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Box of Donuts

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been going to the store to buy donuts. I buy the pre-packaged donuts. I show up almost every Thursday at the exact same time each week. Each week I see the same chap walking out with donuts, as I walk in to buy my donuts. Occasionally we share a few comments. Often our exchange sounds like this: Me: “Hi, any good donuts today?” Other gentleman: “Yes, but there aren’t any left.”


Last week, I arrived earlier than normal, and I found that the donut selection was much better. Instead of finding the normal boxful of cake donuts, I found an assortment of many different pastries, including cinnamon rolls. I scooped up the box, and purchased them. On my way out of the store, I walked past the gent on his way in. He shot me a strange glance, and the exchange was as follows: Gentleman: “Hi, any good donuts today?” Me: “Yes, but there aren’t any left.”



Today, I didn’t arrive early, and I met the gent on his way out of the store, faithfully holding his box of donuts. He looked at me, I looked at him, and for a few moments we shared an awkward stare. He broke the silence by saying “I fought in Vietnam; once, I killed a guy that tried to steal my breakfast. I really like donuts for breakfast.” I looked at him, and then replied: “I don’t like waking up early anyway." He smiled and walked away. I think I'm going to wear a mask to the store next week.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Stick With It!



________________________________________



Love em, hate em, confused? I would love to know what you think.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I took a self-portrait of myself.

"It's deja vu all over again." "It was a sudden and unexpected surprise." "He was a corrupt politician."





What, you may ask, do these have in common? That's right, they are all redundant.
I recently watched a commercial for "Ninja Assassin" a new movie that came out late last year.
I really wish I could have been there when they decided on the name of this movie.. I bet it went something like this..

Producer 1 "We should name it something cool, like Return of the Ninja"
Producer 2 "Ninjas are cool."
Producer 1 "Yeah, people like ninjas"
Producer 3 "I like people that kill people.. what do you call those?"
Producer 1 "Those are called assassins"
Producer 3 "We should use that in the title.."
Producer 2 "How about Return of the Assassin?"
Producer 1 "How about Return of the Ninja Assassin?"

.......all pause.. looking at each other.....

Unison "NINJA ASSASSIN!"

My only question is.. aren't ninjas already assassins? like isn't the point of a ninja to go around killing people and getting away? So, isn't the title of this move sorta redundant? "Ninja Ninja? Killer Assassin??

Movies are stupid.