Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Start by reciting a brief life history (aprox 1-3 hours)
Next find nearest sibling and do the “victory dance” or fist bump with yourself.
Run around the house yelling “it’s MY birthday and all of y’all be LOSERS!”
Every time you unwrap a present yell “I WIN!”
Look down at one of the opened presents, and with a look of horror and say.. “I didn’t want this.” Hand a present to party attendee, and say “HERE… I DON’T WANT THIS ONE!”
Upon reaching the end of your gifts, ask repeatedly “Is that ALL?”
Start playing roughly with presents.. Upon breaking a gift come back to the person that gave it to you and politely ask for another. Make sure that you mention how SOME people actually put a thought into QUALITY.
Anytime you want ANYTHING, just scream at the top of your lungs until someone brings it to you.
Hopefully following this list will lead to the best birthday ever.
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Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Sure, I could use a laugh. 7 votes @ (58%)
NO, PLEASE NO! 5 votes @ (41%)
HENCE THE POST!
Well, if you didn't want it, it is too late now.
Laws are the threads that hold our great nation together. First and foremost, God’s laws: Thou shall not murder, Thou shall not steal, and so on. Next, we have the common law: don’t speed, don’t steal, and don’t invest in stock. The fact is that everyone subjects himself to the laws and government, or he pays the consequences. An interesting point is that we accept the laws that are mandated upon us because we are either enjoying the benefits of them, or we are not affected by them. Jurisprudence: keeps the strong from overpowering the weak, protects those that subject themselves to it, and benefits society as a whole. (generally speaking)
We as citizens make the laws that govern us, we should be happy with the law; the unfortunate fact is that far too many uneducated and ignorant people have the right to vote. We hear the call “GO VOTE” but if we aren’t educated enough to understand what we are voting on, then should we really vote? The obvious problem here is that the common masses are not capable to understand the consequences of their actions if they don’t understand their actions. For example, if a man votes at random because he doesn’t understand what he is voting on, he will probably never know the outcome of the law he voted on.
The problem is that too many laws are created just because they sound like a good idea. The main idea is that people may decide on what sounds good before they know the end result. The basic principle of the cell phone law is to get drivers off of their cell phones. I highly doubt this will actually solve much of the problem. I think more likely, more drivers will be fiddling with the wires on their “hands free” devices, trying to untangle a cord, or trying to figure out how to make the Bluetooth connection. This will be an undesired effect of a new law. It won’t solve the problem, nor will it keep people from dying.
I personally would love if laws worked the way they were supposed to. I would like a communistic government. It would be really nice to have everything equal, right? I mean, just think, how many times your sibling has got the iPod YOU deserve! This actually happening in reality is a joke. Power corrupts, and any governmental system is a good show of that. No, I’m not an anarchist, nor do I honestly want a communistic government. I believe that no government can exist without being ordained by God. I follow God, and I believe that he has put this government over me, so I can be subject to it. This doesn’t mean that I follow every law to the letter all the time. I mess up; I am a hypocrite.
A government that does so much to protect the innocent, yet allows abortion, is a government with conflicting interests. Our government is obviously messed up. This shows the duality of government; I.E. what government tries to accomplish with law VS. what they actually achieve.
All that to say… I believe that some laws are good because they protect me from others’ stupidity; however, what laws are going to protect me from the government’s stupidity? Laws are good, but laws that are implemented because of their wonderful “potential” are mostly worthless.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Should cell phones only be allowed in cars if the operator used a "hands free device"?
NO (6 votes @) (28%)
Yes (5 votes @) (26%)
Should be up to the user (4 unique votes @) (24%)
Eh, why should I care? (3 votes @) (22%)
This should be a law (0 votes)
More to come!
To clear up any confusion, the poll says that cell phones should be allowed in vehicles without any restrictions. Not that cell phones shouldn't be used at all.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
- Muscle relaxant
- A Strong friend
- A shoulder of a mother (preferably yours)
- Banana peel
- Giant pair of pliers
- Smelling salts or an old fish.
Are you ready?!
First take out item number 3 and begin filling out the forms.
Realize that you have put the wrong number in the wrong place and get angry, use item #2.
Because you took too much relaxant, have item #3 put you back into your chair and hold you there till you finish filling out forms… Line 4 minus line 5 plus headache.
Use item #5 to remove the “note” you wrote around the edge of the form to remind the government that the IRS is not Constitutionally mandated.
Realize that the muscle relaxant is worn off, and ask item #3 to wait upstairs, while you use item #6.
Place item: #7 at the top of the stairs, #8, #11, and #10 at the bottom of the stairs, and hand #9 and #1 to #3.
Run up the stairs as fast as you can while holding your completed tax forms with your arms straight out. #3 will grab the envelope with #9 out of your cold death grip, as you slip on #7 and begin falling down the stairs.
As you fall, #3 will wipe off all the tears from your return with #1 and take the return to the post office.
An hour later you wake from the smell of dead fish, with your head on a pillow. Use #10 to call someone that cares.
Congratulations. You are done. This list is re-useable.