I'll get my act together and post some finished cartoons.. I have been far too busy relaxing to get any cartoons drawn. Perhaps tomorrow will be the day that I'll get out the ole brain out of storage.
Until then, please enjoy this amazing invention. I would highly suggest buying enough for you and all your friends.
Showing posts with label Information. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Information. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Seven Tips for a Perfect Christmas!
Here are the best tips for having a perfect Christmas day.
#1. Say good bye to your money.. it will be the last time you see any for a while, so you might as well bid it farewell.
The next Thing I would strongly suggest to do, but is not on the list, is to re-familiarize yourself with the season, and what it is all about. Everyone knows that Wikipedia is the best site for very reliable information, so here you go! Christmas!
#2. Find the tree.. If you haven't done it by now, you probably are too late.. Good luck, and if you cant find a good one in town, there's always the National Forest.
#3. Once you find that perfect tree, you need to hack it down! Kill it, and hopefully you will burn it after you are done using it. :) (for our environmentalist friends)
If you don't want to go alone, take the whole family! Make sure not to forget crazy Uncle Earl, because of what happened last year!!
#4. Once you get that beautiful tree home,
you need to get it all decked!
Go the whole nine yards.
Make sure the decor of the house matches the tree.. you wouldn't want to look stupid.. now would you..
Forget those ugly electric lights, use beautiful candles instead!
Make sure to use lots... if not for the pure brilliance of the candlelight, for the wondrous heat that it puts off. So pretty, so nice, so warm.. time for bed.
Suddenly a sound pierces the silence!
DEET, DEET, DEET!
You know you've heard that noise before.. what could it be?
Ah, yes.. that's the smoke detector going off.. you suddenly think to yourself.. why is the detector going off? Am I baking something? no.. Am I... Oh! you remember suddenly.. the toaster! you left the toaster plugged in! As you race down the stairs, the lively crackling of the fire, becomes a deafening roar of your whole house on fire! Oh no! you forgot to blow out the candles on the tree!
Foom!
Within 5 minute your whole house in engulfed... oops.. Maybe I'll skip the candles on next year's tree.
Forget about the house! you still have FOOD to look forward to!
#5. Food, with so many choices it may be hard to decide what to do. Don't worry though, I'm here to help you through this crisis! First you may think what kind of turkey you might like.
Traditional... Or..
Semi-Traditional
Maybe you don't like turkey.. Maybe you like Ham! Again, so many choices, so here I am to help.
Traditional... OR..
Non-traditional!
Maybe You really don't like either of the main traditional meals, so you go with...
DUCK!
Or, if you really want to try something new.. you can always try some delicious dog!
Dog doesn't suit your fancy? Well, I've got just the thing..
CHEESE ROLL! ... OR ...
Fruitcake!! (Not only does it never go bad, it can be used as a weapon)
#6. To make your Christmas the best it can be, make sure you get the right kind of music going!
Choirs are a really good way to start the day out right, and if you are lucky, you might even have carolers come to your door dressed as snowmen
You must chose the right mood music for your party, and I would suggest either playing the movie, or playing the record "A Charlie Brown Christmas" over and over again.. I would suggest something "Jazzy."
If you really feel "in the spirit" you should order a personal caroler, that will stand in your house 24 hours a day 7 days a week singing songs.. If you can't afford one, stroll over to the nearest school, and nab a kid, usually not the best idea, but they usually last through the holidays.
No I didn't forget about them..
#7. Presents.
Just remember, if it's not broken in an hour, it wasn't a good present.
More is always better.. Just think of it this way.. which would you rather have: 20 little toy cars, or 1 big one.. Me, it's always quantity over quality.. (it looks better under the tree too, makes it look like you are rich) Sparkly wrapping paper is a must, and as much glitter as the carpet will hold! A fire pit can come in handy in the living room, because not only can you burn all the debris from the unwrapping storm, if a child complains,
you can instantly punish them by tossing the toy into the fire!
Let's not forget the reason for the season...
That's right! SANTA! Because without SANTA, Christmas just wouldn't be the same!
Ok, ok.. Hopefully y'all really don't need a disclaimer, but just in case here it is. I was totally Joking. The reason for the season is Jesus, His birth and life!!
I am not to be held responsible for anyone taking the fake recommendations to heart, and destroying their Christmas.. I.E. if you kill yourself doing something stupid, don't come running back to me!
Hope you enjoyed it, and I would really appreciate any suggestions that I may have missed for next year!
#1. Say good bye to your money.. it will be the last time you see any for a while, so you might as well bid it farewell.
The next Thing I would strongly suggest to do, but is not on the list, is to re-familiarize yourself with the season, and what it is all about. Everyone knows that Wikipedia is the best site for very reliable information, so here you go! Christmas!
#2. Find the tree.. If you haven't done it by now, you probably are too late.. Good luck, and if you cant find a good one in town, there's always the National Forest.
#3. Once you find that perfect tree, you need to hack it down! Kill it, and hopefully you will burn it after you are done using it. :) (for our environmentalist friends)
If you don't want to go alone, take the whole family! Make sure not to forget crazy Uncle Earl, because of what happened last year!!
#4. Once you get that beautiful tree home,
you need to get it all decked!
Go the whole nine yards.Make sure the decor of the house matches the tree.. you wouldn't want to look stupid.. now would you..
Forget those ugly electric lights, use beautiful candles instead!
Make sure to use lots... if not for the pure brilliance of the candlelight, for the wondrous heat that it puts off. So pretty, so nice, so warm.. time for bed.
Suddenly a sound pierces the silence!
DEET, DEET, DEET!
You know you've heard that noise before.. what could it be?
Ah, yes.. that's the smoke detector going off.. you suddenly think to yourself.. why is the detector going off? Am I baking something? no.. Am I... Oh! you remember suddenly.. the toaster! you left the toaster plugged in! As you race down the stairs, the lively crackling of the fire, becomes a deafening roar of your whole house on fire! Oh no! you forgot to blow out the candles on the tree!
Foom!
Within 5 minute your whole house in engulfed... oops.. Maybe I'll skip the candles on next year's tree.
Forget about the house! you still have FOOD to look forward to!
#5. Food, with so many choices it may be hard to decide what to do. Don't worry though, I'm here to help you through this crisis! First you may think what kind of turkey you might like.
Traditional... Or..
Semi-Traditional
Maybe you don't like turkey.. Maybe you like Ham! Again, so many choices, so here I am to help.
Traditional... OR..
Non-traditional!
Maybe You really don't like either of the main traditional meals, so you go with...
DUCK!
Or, if you really want to try something new.. you can always try some delicious dog!
Dog doesn't suit your fancy? Well, I've got just the thing..
CHEESE ROLL! ... OR ...
Fruitcake!! (Not only does it never go bad, it can be used as a weapon)
#6. To make your Christmas the best it can be, make sure you get the right kind of music going!
Choirs are a really good way to start the day out right, and if you are lucky, you might even have carolers come to your door dressed as snowmen
You must chose the right mood music for your party, and I would suggest either playing the movie, or playing the record "A Charlie Brown Christmas" over and over again.. I would suggest something "Jazzy."
If you really feel "in the spirit" you should order a personal caroler, that will stand in your house 24 hours a day 7 days a week singing songs.. If you can't afford one, stroll over to the nearest school, and nab a kid, usually not the best idea, but they usually last through the holidays.
No I didn't forget about them..#7. Presents.
Just remember, if it's not broken in an hour, it wasn't a good present.
More is always better.. Just think of it this way.. which would you rather have: 20 little toy cars, or 1 big one.. Me, it's always quantity over quality.. (it looks better under the tree too, makes it look like you are rich) Sparkly wrapping paper is a must, and as much glitter as the carpet will hold! A fire pit can come in handy in the living room, because not only can you burn all the debris from the unwrapping storm, if a child complains,
you can instantly punish them by tossing the toy into the fire!Let's not forget the reason for the season...
That's right! SANTA! Because without SANTA, Christmas just wouldn't be the same!
Santa is the most important part of Christmas, because, between him and the presents, there just isn't room for anything else.
Ok, ok.. Hopefully y'all really don't need a disclaimer, but just in case here it is. I was totally Joking. The reason for the season is Jesus, His birth and life!!
I am not to be held responsible for anyone taking the fake recommendations to heart, and destroying their Christmas.. I.E. if you kill yourself doing something stupid, don't come running back to me!
Hope you enjoyed it, and I would really appreciate any suggestions that I may have missed for next year!
Monday, October 27, 2008
What?! a post with more than 20 words?
Well, here is some stuff. I had to give this as a speech, so I figured I'd post it. (mostly because I'm lazy and I didn't want to create a post this long from scratch)
If you saw a quarter on the ground would you pick it up? What about a dollar? What about 20 dollars? What If I told you that you could save around $60 or much more per year? The high cost of gas affects anyone who drives. The distance I can drive on each gallon of gas directly effects how much money I will be paying at the pump next time I fill up. For example, if I am able to drive 25 miles on one gallon of gas, my cost for those 30 miles is divided into the cost of the gallon, so if I pay four dollars for that gallon, I will be paying about sixteen cents per mile. Saving money at the pump is important to me, and I hope to show how to save a little extra money on gas.
With most cars getting around 25 miles per gallon, and trucks getting about 12 to 17 almost everyone feels pain every time they fill up at the pump. With this kind of agony, some turn to gadgets promising more miles for less money, while others, look to old tips and tricks to improve mileage. Many products are on the market, to increase gas mileage and improve performance. Some spin air, some inject water, and a few are dropped into the gas tank. With so many products, which, if any, will get me more mileage? We’ll look at the claims of one of the most predominate products out on the shelves of many stores, and examine the best ways of gaining fuel mileage.
If you saw a quarter on the ground would you pick it up? What about a dollar? What about 20 dollars? What If I told you that you could save around $60 or much more per year? The high cost of gas affects anyone who drives. The distance I can drive on each gallon of gas directly effects how much money I will be paying at the pump next time I fill up. For example, if I am able to drive 25 miles on one gallon of gas, my cost for those 30 miles is divided into the cost of the gallon, so if I pay four dollars for that gallon, I will be paying about sixteen cents per mile. Saving money at the pump is important to me, and I hope to show how to save a little extra money on gas.
With most cars getting around 25 miles per gallon, and trucks getting about 12 to 17 almost everyone feels pain every time they fill up at the pump. With this kind of agony, some turn to gadgets promising more miles for less money, while others, look to old tips and tricks to improve mileage. Many products are on the market, to increase gas mileage and improve performance. Some spin air, some inject water, and a few are dropped into the gas tank. With so many products, which, if any, will get me more mileage? We’ll look at the claims of one of the most predominate products out on the shelves of many stores, and examine the best ways of gaining fuel mileage.
Most devices that claim to help increase gas mileage are very similar, so for the sake of time we’ll only pick on one of them. The Tornado is a device made of stainless steel with thin metal blades. Versions are sold for both carbureted and fuel-injected engines. Most of the fuels saving devices currently for sale are like this one. The Tornado is basically a fin that goes into the air intake hose between the air filter and intake manifold. This has the effect of spinning the air and making the fuel mix more completely with the air resulting in a claimed 30% increase in fuel mileage and horsepower. Effectively, this means that if the vehicle is getting 10 miles per gallon before, then after the device is installed the vehicle will instantly be getting 13 miles per gallon.
Many of the fuel saving devices have problems in backing up their claims. For example, there is a flaw in the theory for the tornado; there is no fuel in the intake manifold. Fuel is injected into the cylinder at the intake valve; this simply means that any air that the tornado “spins” won’t carry all the way into the cylinder where the fuel would have a chance to mix with the air. Other products claim huge increases in the effectiveness of an engine’s ability for burning fuel. According to Wikipedia, the gasoline engine is 99% efficient, if this is true, then how the products can retrieve more than 1% is quite strange. That’s like saying “I can make a gallon of gas out of thin air!” it simply can’t happen.
So which of the fuel saving devices work? Consumer reports magazine tells us: “We installed the tornado in a Ford Ranger pickup truck and a Volkswagen New Beetle. We ran our standard acceleration and fuel economy tests with and without the Tornado installed. The Ranger saw no improvement in acceleration, while the New Beetle saw slightly worse performance. Neither vehicle showed an improvement in fuel economy.” Consumer reports magazine tests many of these fuel saving devices and says that it’s just better to stay away. “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.” The Tornado and others like it rely on perception. You do something to improve your vehicle and you 'feel' the improvement. Nothing has actually improved; you just believe it has. It's the same feeling you get after an oil change, nothing has changed. It just feels better. Less than 3% of the devices actually increase mileage, so consumer reports suggests to stay away from them.
So what does work? Here are some simple steps that can be done to increase fuel mileage.
- Check your tire pressure; Tires and low tire pressure can attribute up to about three percent loss in fuel mileage.
- Keep your engine tuned; a poorly tuned or poorly running engine can use more than twice as much gas as a well tuned engine!
- Trim excess weight: every 100 lbs of extra stuff that is carried around attributes to about a one percent loss in gas mileage.
- Consolidate trips; Think “do I really need this right now? Or can it wait till tomorrow?”
- Avoid quick acceleration; quickly accelerating after being stopped can use about three percent more gas than accelerating to the same speed slower.
- If going faster than forty miles per hour roll up the windows and use the A/C; this one might sound odd, but the drag created by open windows uses more gas than using the air conditioner.
- Shut the engine off if you are going to idle for more than a minute or so; this simple practice can help reduce pollution, and save you money.
These simple steps can easily get you up to 3 more miles per gallon. If you drive an average of 12000 miles, (that is the statistical average) and based on a fuel cost of $3.00 that's a total savings of more than $150.00. Just think about this next time you go to fill up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)